The Dunder McMuffin

by Snarky Chef

Since my day job has me chained to a desk for most of the day, I do most of my cooking at night and on the weekends. Howevs, I have gotten pretty good at “cooking” in the office kitchen. Since the office kitchen gets alot of traffic, you have to try and limit cooking to something that is: a. quick, b. easy and c. isn’t going to stink up the kitchen (eliciting passive aggressive post-it rants). This recipe makes one tasty breakfast sandwich in less than a minute, all within the comfort of your corporate prison cell.

1 egg
1 english muffin
1 slice of cheese (American is the traditional favorite)
3-4 slices of ham (if you’re feeling ambitious you can substitute this with bacon or a sausage patty, but you need to cook them before you bring them to work which is annoying and prevents being able to press the Snooze button approximately 3 times before actually getting up)

Everything fits conveniently into a single ziplock bag.

1. Pry/cut open your english muffin. I think the whole forksplit thing is bullshit. Thomas is such a lazy motherfucker. Why can’t he just cut it all the way through? Personally, I like my muffin toasted but it’s up to you.

2. This is where the McGyver tricks come into play. Find a coffee cup and lid (these are pretty standard issue for any place of employment). Crack your egg into the bottom of the cup and close it securely with the lid (don’t open the drinking tab or anything, it should be completely closed). Nuke your coffee cup egg for 10 seconds at a time, checking for doneness after each 10 second interval. I’ve found that 20-25 seconds yields the best egg because it leaves the yolk runny. If you’re not into that, 30 will give you a fully cooked yolk.

3. Place the ham and cheese on the bottom of your english muffin and microwave for 10 seconds, or until the cheese is melted.

4. Run your knife around the edge of your coffee cup to loosen the egg. Flip it over and give it a nice tap on the end.. THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!! OHHH, ZINGGGG!!