If this is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

In the spirit of patriotism in this exciting election season, I’ve decided to celebrate one of America’s favorite things: obeastly grub. With our economy in the crapper and idiots on the ticket, I decided nothing is as comforting as a heart-attack inducing snack in times of crisis. Try these at your own risk.

The Luther Burger is the mack daddy of fatty eats. Basically it’s a bacon cheeseburger sandwiched between 2 Krispy Kremes. Amazing? Probs. I’m afraid to try it for fear that it might send me into an epicurean utopia from which I can never escape.

The history behind the LB seems a bit shady with some sources saying it was named after the famous R&B crooner, and others saying he actually invented it when he ran out of hamburger buns. No wonder Mr. Vandross felt the power of love; I would too if it was sandwiched between a couple of donuts.

This little number is called the Hamburger Fatty Melt. It’s a hamburger between 2 grilled cheese sandwiches, which is totes genius.

Meet the Hamdog. Some crazy ass restaurant decided to take a hot dog, wrap it in a beef patty, deep fry that shit, throw it on a bun and then smother it in chili, cheese and onions. The coup de grâce is the fried egg they decided would be the cherry atop this artery clogging sundae. The whole thing sounds sick, but I’d probably take a bite and like it.

The Fat Darrell is the brainchild of a drunk college student. It’s inventor and namesake, Darrell Butler was craving chicken fingers, french fries and mozzarella sticks but didn’t have the cash to get all 3 from Rutgers University’s famous Grease Trucks. He asked the guy to throw it all on a sandwich and smother it with marinara sauce, and viola! The Fat Darrell sandwich was born. I’ve actually eaten one of these, and all I have to say is OMFG it’s ridic good.

Lastly, I can’t do a post on ridiculously fattening foods without mentioning the Queen herself, Paula Deen. Basically her entire arsenal of recipes can be posted under this thread, but I just saw her make this last week on her show so decided to go with her idea to make a cheesecake, take a slice and wrap it in a wonton wrapper, then DEEP FRY it and smother it in chocolate sauce. Holy eff, that woman is a saint. I love how she calls it Ultimate Fantasy Deep-Fried Cheesecake, which seems a little redundant considering what ELSE would deep fried cheesecake be besides the ultimate fantasy?

xoxo
Snarky