Gambler’s Pie [aka Blueberry Crumble Amazingness]
So last weekend I was bumming around on a hot-ass Saturday with some friends, and since it was crazy to be anywhere except in front of an air conditioner, we decided to watch some old 80′s movies. We caught the tail end of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I somehow thought that these 2 actors were the same person:
Completely blocking out that Fast Times came out in 1982 and Judge Reinhold is like 100:
“Hi, I’m a dinosaur.”
Anyway, so I bet my friend Amy a pie and obvs I lost because I’m a tard with no concept of time. In my defense, Judge Reinhold circa 1982 looks alot like whoever that guy in Forgetting Sarah Marshall is. Always the gracious loser, I brought Amy her winnings on Wednesday night and it immediately got dominated by everyone at the Project Runway viewing party.
This recipe is loosely adapted from a cookbook on my friend’s boat. The first time I ever tasted this pie, I ate 3/4 of it myself by waking up early (which for a nocturnal being like myself, does not happen often) and having it for breakfast while everyone was still asleep. It makes enough for 1 pie which if jealously hoarded from others, can feed one … but should probably be shared with friends.
9-inch frozen pie crust
3/4 c. plus 5 T. all-purpose flour
2/3 c. firmly packed golden brown sugar
1/3 c. granulated sugar plus 1 T. for the filling
2 t. ground cinnamon
1/8 t. salt
8 T cold unsalted butter, cut into 3/4 in. pieces
5 c. of blueberries (it is about 2 1/2 pints of berries)
1. Prebake the frozen pie crust according to the package’s directions. (Don’t forget to poke holes in the bottom of the crust with a fork or else it will puff up and ruin everything.)
2. Once your crust is done, preheat the oven to 375 degrees.
3. For the crumble topping (droooooool): Combine 3/4 c. flour, 1/3 c. of brown sugar, 1/3 c. granulated sugar, 1 t. cinnamon and the salt. Toss in the butter pieces to coat with the flour mixture. Using your fingertips (or if you’re a wuss, a pastry blender) squish the butter/flour mixture until it resembles pea-sized crumbs. Resist the urge to toss a handful of this delicious sand into your mouth, and set the topping aside.
3. Onto the blueberry filling: In a large bowl, combine the blueberries, the remaining brown sugar, the remaining cinnamon, and 4 T. of the flour. Stir gently to ensure that each little blueberry gets dusted with the dry ingredients. Sprinkle the remaining 1 T. of flour and 1 T. of granulated sugar over the bottom of the prebaked pie crust, spreading it evenly (this turns the blueberry juice into a gooey, purple sludge) and pile the blueberries on top. It might look like an intense mountain of blueberries, but it cooks down a bunch so we need to be fairly aggressive with the amount we put in there.
4. Sprinkle the crumble topping evenly over the blueberry filling. (Really pile it on there.) Bake the pie on a rack in the lower-third of the oven until the topping is golden brown and the blueberry filling is just starting to erupt; it should be bubbly, peeking through the buttery and delicious crumb terrain (about 50-60 minutes).
5. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely. Serve at room temperature.*
*OK, lets be honest, I am totally impatient and you’re probably not going to have the willpower to wait because trust me, the smell alone while its baking is torture. But I feel it is my duty, to encourage you to wait for the following reasons:
- If you don’t let the filling cool, and just go haphazardly cutting into it … the filling will be runny and you probably won’t even be able to get a slice out without using a spoon (that is, if you’re even using utensils at this point, you animal).
- Fresh out of the oven blueberry slurry = burning hot magma. (Think of the worst pizza burn you’ve ever had and then multiply that by infinity.)
- You’ll turn into a giant blueberry and the Oompa Loompahs will have to roll you to the juicing room.
I hope we all learn something from my inability to wait for the alotted cooling times suggested in recipes.
Obvs we didn’t wait and so I couldn’t get a pic of the whole pie, but this is what was left the morning after.