Fear Factor Food Fest

After getting really excited at the thought of the Top Chef contestants cooking exotic animals last week (good editing job, Bravo) … it got me thinking about grub with gross-out factor. How gross is gross? Would you ever eat a slimy and wriggly live octopus?

I’ve always thought of myself as an adventurous eater. I mean, once in 7th grade my granola-munching Science teacher thought it would be fun to bring in mealworms as a “snack” and I was one of the few who tried them (all I remember was that they were crunchy). I figured I couldn’t get any weirder in the eyes of my classmates after I opted to eat a ham sandwich immediately following our fetal pig dissection. (I mean, I washed my hands first. What can I say? I love the pig. Mmm bacon.)

But I’ve got my limits. Even my hero, Anthony Bourdain, can gross me out sometimes with some of the shit he eats on No Reservations. Like that time he ate worm egg tacos. Or testicles. Also, the last time I was in the Philippines I refused to eat balut, and I gagged/cried when my brother did. (PS Don’t click on that link if you’re planning on eating after reading this.)

However, I like to think I’ve eaten my fair share of weird food … which often results in me getting alot of food poisoning.  Like the last time I was barfy in Korea with my brother and sister-in-law and she took me to a voodoo doctor/medicine man/random Asian grandpa in a strip mall and he whipped up some sort of vommy smoothie/magical nausea-inducing elixir that made me hurl my guts out the entire plane ride home. (Not fun when you’re flying coach on an international flight and your random seatmate has decided she might like to make a nest on the floor below your row instead of sitting like a NORMAL HUMAN.) Thankfully I couldn’t make out what his wizard hands were throwing into the blender or decipher what he was saying. Because contrary to popular belief, I can’t speak Korean. Or speak to pandas. Or read the kanji on whatever flyer you are trying to give me in Chinatown.

This morning my friend KP sent me the link to Edible Delicacies, a website offering food that might test your gag reflex. You can buy anything from barfy weasel coffee, some badass scorpion vodka or even worm crisps. Actually most of the stuff on this site is pretty wimpy (not even close to being as gross as my Korean cocktail), but its a good resource for those of you in the market for tea picked by trained monkeys.

For those of you who are bored with the offerings of your local butcher (Wait, seriously who still has a local butcher? The closest thing I’ve got to a local butcher is the snot-nosed, hipster wannabe who stands behind the meat counter at Whole Foods), check out Fossil Farms. Upon first glance, most of the stuff seemed pretty normal (I ate Pietmontese burgers from Red Coat Tavern in MI like whoa), but then I clicked on rattlesnake and lost my appetite (for like 2 minutes, and then I was hungry again but not for rattlesnake … for a Red Coat burger with smoked gouda and blackened onions).

So the question of the day is: What are YOU willing to put in your mouth? (That’s what she said. Ugh, I’m sorry I can’t help it. It’s both a blessing and a curse being this funny.)