Breakfast of Champions
So like forever ago, in the March issue of Esquire, they had this whole spread on breakfast and all the yummy places to eat the day’s most important meal. They had a bunch of quick breakfasts that you could make using leftovers and they were surprisingly easy, not to mention AMAZING. Breakfast is hands down totes the best meal of the day and I often eat breakfast for brunch, lunch, dinner, dessert, snacktime .. you get the idea. Both of these would be amazing hangover food, brunch with the parents food or trying to impress a sleepover buddy food. Snarky highly recommends.
OK, so this one is kind of ridiculous. I suppose it’s conceivable that you would have leftover baby back ribs and cornbread just laying around your apartment (like, if your mom was Paula Deen) but most likely you will have to go to the store to get some of this stuff. But, if you do happen to have all of this stuff at your disposal, this one is super easy. Shred the meat off the ribs (2-3 ribs should be enough meat, depending on how big they happen to be) and toss in a bath of bbq sauce and hoisin (this is like the Asian equivalent of bbq sauce and is most commonly seen as a condiment for pho or peking duck pancakes mmm). Roughly 2 parts bbq sauce to 1 part hoisin works best and then nuke it all for like half a minute to make it warm. Hoisin is sort of an acquired taste so if you’re not into it, then I would just use all bbq sauce cause its probs still tasty sans the Asian flair. Now, throw this meaty mixture on top of some cornbread and top with a poached egg.
For the cooking impaired: Add a couple of teaspoons of white vinegar (this helps the whites to stay together) to a pot of aggressively simmering water. Crack each egg into a bowl and gently slide the egg into the pot of boiling water. It will most likely look like a white hot mess, reminiscent of egg drop soup gone wrong. It may or may not help at this point to pray that the egg lumps together to resemble a poached egg when you fish it out. Let it simmer for about 2 minutes, then remove with a slotted spoon. As far as I can tell, there is no discernible way to guarantee success when poaching eggs (also, I think they are slightly overrated) so I think this would taste just as good using an over-easy jammy which we went over in a previous lesson. Eggs Benedict is made with poached eggs, which I find to be the most untrustworthy of them all, so if you want to stick with tradition go with the traitorous ovum.
Umm, so I’m not sure why nobody thought of this sooner because it seems so obvious, but this is basically a breakfast sandwich that has been grilled (read: soaked in butter and toasted in a pan). Genius, right? Anyway, you can either construct this after cooking all the breakfast items, or just make this bad boy if you have any breakfast leftovers to recycle. Basically take 2 slices of bread (I would suggest getting some legit bread for this sandwich, as the generic white stuff is too soft and won’t be able to hold all the breakfasty goodness), throw a cheese slice on both sides (I only had shredded, which also works), throw your leftover scrambled eggs on one side and whatever breakfast meat (ha) you happen to have on hand (ha haaa). Cover with the other cheesy slice of bread. Then just cook it like you would a standard grilled cheese.
For the cooking impaired: Heat up your griddle/pan and add a pat of butter, when it starts to bubble, throw the sandwich on there. Cook until toasty brown (about 3-4 mins), flip and repeat.