Posts from — April 2009

Sooo, I got back from Montana awhile ago (yay).  But, when I uploaded photos off my cam to document my alcoholic brilliance, I came across some old grub pics from my time in prison Missoula.

Wanna see something gross?

There are no words.

Umm, yea.  So, if I recall correctly, this was a “pulled pork” sandwich.  To call this meat “pork” was fairly ambitious on their part considering it looked like a festering head wound and had the unpleasant consistency of Alpo brand dog food.  I give them credit for trying to salvage this mess by dousing it in BBQ sauce (always a good idea), but even with this (usually) cure-all condiment, I couldn’t get past the other 132 things that made this a nasty, unappetizing mess on Wonder bread.  I mean, just look at it.  And as if that picture weren’t depressing enough, please note my old keyboard in the background.  I had to shovel this crap down my gullet while sitting at my desk.

If I give this truck stop caterer credit for anything, it would be consistency.  They had the uncanny knack for making consistently god-awful food in various shades of purple.  Now, that takes talent.  Who cares what it tastes like as long as it’s PURPLEEEEE!!

Seriously?  Purple is the new FAIL.

This was Asian-style Sweet and Sour Purple Potatoes. I swear.  That’s what the sign said.  I would have taken a photo but I was so dejected/suicidal at this point, that each trip to the kitchen was like Dead Snarky Walking.  It didn’t help my mood any that it looked like Barney took a hot, steaming dump on my dinner plate. I should probs disclose that I didn’t actually taste this wondrously purple side dish.  But feedback from the brave few that did, indicated that the potatoes tasted “horrendous,” “too sour,” and “like poo.”

I’ve since eliminated all purple foods from my diet.

This is what happens when I get bored on a Tuesday.

Innocent pineapples are slaughtered.

At one of our fav local watering holes, they have this delicious pineapple infused vodka (also known by other monikers such as Bad Decisions Potion or Tropical Moonshine).  As the Pringles slogan goes, “once you pop, you can’t stop” and a night of drinking straight vodka (albeit delicious vodka) will no doubt have you groaning/vomiting/cursing yourself at work the next morning.  Not that I know from personal experience or anything.  Just sayin’.

Anyway, you know how after a couple of parties at your apartment, you find yourself the proud owner of 3-5 half empty bottles of cheap vodka?  Being the brilliant genius that I am, I decided to parlay these leftovers into a delicious experiment.

I cut up one whole pineapple, threw it in a clean jar and filled the rest with vodkavodkavodkaaaaa.  Not sure how long to let it sit, but I have a feeling I will catch my roommate drinking from the jar by tomorrow night.

Will let you know how it goes…