Posts from — July 2008

The other day I stopped into Teaism (2009 R St NW) for a snack on my way home from work. I thought I would give their Salty Oat Cookie a try, because I’ve been hearing people rave about it since I got here. Always a fan of the salty sweet, I had high hopes for this oaty little lump and the SOC playfully hit about every taste bud on my tongue. When you first bite into it, you immediately taste the salty, as the top of the cookie has a liberal dusting of coarse salt. Give it a couple of chews and your mouth is bursting with the sweet, hearty taste of a good oatmeal raisin cookie. The SOC packs a good crunch when you bite into it from its salty crust, but the inside has a nice toothsome chewiness that you associate with the homemade cookies Mom used to make. At a buck ninety-five its well worth joining the intellectual flower-children types who frequent this popular tea party hotspot (which in addition to tea, offers a variety of Asian-inspired grub if you’re feeling like eating something other than cookies). It’s one of the only acceptable instances where you shouldn’t resist joining the crunchy, granola-eating (in this case oat-eating) masses in the District.

PS For all the chocoholics, they also have a CHOCOLATE  Salty Oat Cookie. Mmmmm.

Soooo … yesterday I woke up, bounded out of bed sans hangover (which explains the bounding) to find myself standing in a puddle. I took a step and a geyser of water squirted up from one of the cracks in my hardwood flooring. WTF.

When the maintenance man came over he ripped open my AC unit to find a gaping hole in the tank where the condensed water goes before it is deposited outside (which could explain my squishy floor and why I awoke to the sweet sound of a babbling brook that wasn’t coming from my fancy Sharper Image clock radio).

Anyway, obvs those morons said they couldn’t fix it until later this week and instead put a ghetto ass aluminum pan underneath the drip (which I have to empty every 3 hours ughhhh). While I was sweating and having to pee all day Sunday, I was struck with the brilliant idea to combine two of my favoritest things ever: beer and ice cream.

I know that sounds really gross and like a recipe for gut rot, but it turned out to be an amazing discovery. I had dinner plans later that evening with friends and I was responsible for bringing dessert. After quickly ruling out anything that would require the oven (there was no way I was adding extra heat to my already sweltering apartment), I decided to dust off the ice cream machine to make this:

Guinness-Milk Chocolate Ice Cream
recipe from Perfect Scoop by David Lebovitz
makes about one quart

7 oz. milk chocolate, finely chopped
1 c. whole milk
1/2 c. sugar
pinch of salt
4 large egg yolks
1 c. heavy cream
3/4 c. Guinness Stout
1 t. vanilla extract

1. Chop up the chocolate into smallish slivers and place in a large bowl. Set a mesh strainer over the top.

2. Heat the milk, sugar, and salt in a medium saucepan over lowish heat (make sure it doesn’t boil). While that’s going, whisk the egg yolks in a separate bowl until they become a pale yellow. Slowly pour a little bit of the warm milk mixture into the bowl with the egg yolks, whisking constantly, then pour the entire contents of the bowl into the saucepan. If you pour the eggs straight into the hot milk you will get an egg drop soup effect, so don’t forget to temper the yolks first with a bit of the liquid.

3. Stir the mixture constantly over medium heat with a heatproof spatula, scraping the bottom as you stir, until the mixture thickens and coats the spatula. Pour the custard through the strainer over the milk chocolate, then stir until the chocolate is melted. Resist the urge to stick your face in it.

4. Once the mixture is smooth, whisk in the cream, then the Guinness and vanilla. Stir until cool over an ice bath. (I’m not entirely sure this step is necessary, because it was already pretty cool by the time I poured the cold Guinness in there. Since my kitchen is built for elves, I had to get a bit creative for my ice bath.)

5. Place this magical elixir in the fridge until it’s nice and cold. It will make your entire fridge smell amazing. I imagine this is what heaven smells like. Booze and chocolate.

6. Once sufficiently chilled, freeze it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. It took about 30-45 minutes in mine to get it to a soft serve consistency. This is when I like to take it out because if you let it get any thicker the machine starts to groan and smell like burning. So I advise to stop it when it’s soft serve-y, dump it out into a container and put it in the freezer for a couple of hours.

Note: You will probs wanna eat it before it gets hard enough for scooping, but there will be a sufficient amount of ice cream left frozen to the sides of your machine for sampling/instant gratification. Under no circumstances should you place your tongue directly on the walls of the ice cream dasher. My friend did that once and it was a total Christmas Story moment. OK, it was me.

7. Now here comes the good part. Crack open a can/bottle of Guinness. Carefully pour it into a glass and top with 2 scoops of ice cream. Seriously, this is one of the best floats you will ever have. And if you make this for boys they will have multiple orgasms and then ask you to move in with them. Just saying.

MARVEL IN BEER FLOAT PERFECTION
(the last bit of the float is all melty ice cream + beer which makes it like a milkshake for adults)

PS Other things boys like making love to besides beer floats are their iPhones. Apparently someone decided to combine those 2 things to get this:

Which is probs the dumbest thing ever after Tila Tequila and Rock of Love 3.

So last weekend I was bumming around on a hot-ass Saturday with some friends, and since it was crazy to be anywhere except in front of an air conditioner, we decided to watch some old 80’s movies. We caught the tail end of Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I somehow thought that these 2 actors were the same person:

Twins? Kind of? … No?

Completely blocking out that Fast Times came out in 1982 and Judge Reinhold is like 100:

“Hi, I’m a dinosaur.”

Anyway, so I bet my friend Amy a pie and obvs I lost because I’m a tard with no concept of time. In my defense, Judge Reinhold circa 1982 looks alot like whoever that guy in Forgetting Sarah Marshall is. Always the gracious loser, I brought Amy her winnings on Wednesday night and it immediately got dominated by everyone at the Project Runway viewing party.

This recipe is loosely adapted from a cookbook on my friend’s boat. The first time I ever tasted this pie, I ate 3/4 of it myself by waking up early (which for a nocturnal being like myself, does not happen often) and having it for breakfast while everyone was still asleep. It makes enough for 1 pie which if jealously hoarded from others, can feed one … but should probably be shared with friends.

9-inch frozen pie crust
3/4 c. plus 5 T. all-purpose flour
2/3 c. firmly packed golden brown sugar
1/3 c. granulated sugar plus 1 T. for the filling
2 t. ground cinnamon
1/8 t. salt
8 T cold unsalted butter, cut into 3/4 in. pieces
5 c. of blueberries (it is about 2 1/2 pints of berries)

1. Prebake the frozen pie crust according to the package’s directions. (Don’t forget to poke holes in the bottom of the crust with a fork or else it will puff up and ruin everything.)

2. Once your crust is done, preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

3. For the crumble topping (droooooool): Combine 3/4 c. flour, 1/3 c. of brown sugar, 1/3 c. granulated sugar, 1 t. cinnamon and the salt. Toss in the butter pieces to coat with the flour mixture. Using your fingertips (or if you’re a wuss, a pastry blender) squish the butter/flour mixture until it resembles pea-sized crumbs. Resist the urge to toss a handful of this delicious sand into your mouth, and set the topping aside.

3. Onto the blueberry filling: In a large bowl, combine the blueberries, the remaining brown sugar, the remaining cinnamon, and 4 T. of the flour. Stir gently to ensure that each little blueberry gets dusted with the dry ingredients. Sprinkle the remaining 1 T. of flour and 1 T. of granulated sugar over the bottom of the prebaked pie crust, spreading it evenly (this turns the blueberry juice into a gooey, purple sludge) and pile the blueberries on top. It might look like an intense mountain of blueberries, but it cooks down a bunch so we need to be fairly aggressive with the amount we put in there.

4. Sprinkle the crumble topping evenly over the blueberry filling. (Really pile it on there.) Bake the pie on a rack in the lower-third of the oven until the topping is golden brown and the blueberry filling is just starting to erupt; it should be bubbly, peeking through the buttery and delicious crumb terrain (about 50-60 minutes).

5. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely. Serve at room temperature.*

*OK, lets be honest, I am totally impatient and you’re probably not going to have the willpower to wait because trust me, the smell alone while its baking is torture. But I feel it is my duty, to encourage you to wait for the following reasons:

• If you don’t let the filling cool, and just go haphazardly cutting into it … the filling will be runny and you probably won’t even be able to get a slice out without using a spoon (that is, if you’re even using utensils at this point, you animal).
• Fresh out of the oven blueberry slurry = burning hot magma. (Think of the worst pizza burn you’ve ever had and then multiply that by infinity.)
• You’ll turn into a giant blueberry and the Oompa Loompahs will have to roll you to the juicing room.

I hope we all learn something from my inability to wait for the alotted cooling times suggested in recipes.

Obvs we didn’t wait and so I couldn’t get a pic of the whole pie, but this is what was left the morning after.

Last night I was jonesin’ for some sushi so decided to check out my friend Mel’s favorite spot, Sushi Taro (1503 17th St. NW). Mmmm sushi. One of Japan’s greatest contributions to the world. Some other notables being: karaoke, Tokyo street style, sumo wrestling, Tamagotchis, and … this:

You think the Japanese are adept in the housekeeping arena; it is nothing compared to their culinary genius. Who else would have thought to put raw fish on little vinegar’d rice balls?

Speaking of nigiri sushi, Sushi Taro’s was tops. I brought along my friend Wags to enjoy some deliciously raw food and throw back a couple of Kirins. She ordered one of the sushi platters (11 pieces of nigiri and a California roll) and I got the 7-kinds of fish sashimi platter. Neither of us had been to Taro before so we came in with open minds about the quality of food, and were pleasantly surprised by how great everything was. The sashimi tasted like it had just been swimming with Nemo moments before it got to my plate.

The sashimi slices were generously cut, not like those wimpy thin slices you can practically see through at other sushi places. After our feast, we were still hungry and decided to check out a roll from the a la carte menu. We finally decided on the Dragon roll (soft shell crab on the inside, eel and avocado on the outside). As expected, it was excellent like the rest of the meal.

Sushi Taro’s old school style of sushi (don’t expect to see any crazy rolls on the menu) marries perfectly with the style of the restaurant, which is traditional in every sense. The tables are low, and diners must sit on the floor. For those with bad knees, you can opt to sit at the sushi bar, which is where we sat because we didn’t have a reservation. Because Sushi Taro is so popular, don’t expect to walk in without a reservation unless you go early on a random weekday (we went at 6:30 on a Wednesday and still had to sit at the bar). Regardless of where you end up sitting, Sushi Taro is worth the wait for it’s top quality fish and attentive service.

It’s probs not the type of place for you if you want to do some belligerent kamikaze-style sake bombing (i.e. Sounkyo in NYC, bless their hearts), but its a really tasty alternative for those who want to put the drinking problems on hold for a night.

 
[photo by Julia Fullerton-Batten]

OK party people, I know I’ve been MIA for about 2 months and to all my adoring fans (all 4 of you): I apologize for not posting anything in forevs.  I’m a sorry excuse for a blogger.

The good news is that I have lots of things in the works so posts will be forthcoming, and hopefully, on a somewhat regular basis now.

Clearly, I missed the last half of Top Chef, but we all knew Stephanie would win … and that Lisa would be a twatwaffle right down to the very end.  I may retroactively write some recaps but I’m pretty sure that when I got back from my work trip that my DVR had imploded onto itself so I might have to wait for a Bravo marathon before I can tape them again.

P.S. OMG LOL WTF … peep this teaser of Thu Tran’s new “cooking” show, Food Party which I’m guessing is probs like a foodie equivalent of The Joy of Painting for stoners.  Happy little Luther burgers instead of happy little trees.